When you start to take fatherhood seriously and realize what’s at stake, there’s a temptation to be anxious. I was anxious about harming my child. I was anxious about doing or failing to do something that could hurt them. In other words, I wanted to be a perfect father for them.
But God doesn’t want an anxious father. He prefers a careful one.
An anxious father can’t be confident. A careful father can.
An anxious father beats himself up when he makes mistakes. A careful father learns from his mistakes.
An anxious father cripples himself from acting. A careful father acts with purpose and intent.
An anxious father is a prideful father. A careful father accepts his limitations.
An anxious father relies on himself. A careful father relies on God.
An anxious father tries to be everything for their child. A careful father always points to their only perfect Father, in heaven.
An anxious father worries about what others think. A careful father thinks of how to ease their children’s worries.
You see, the problem isn’t anxiety. Anxiety is the rotten fruit of any combination of self-reliance, perfectionism, pride, and comparison to other fathers or children. With God before you, you are equipped to do the work God has entrusted to you.
So what can we do?
“God commands you to pray, but he forbids you to worry.” – St. Francis de Sales
This is the complete opposite of anxiety. To pray is to petition to God, to rely on God, to connect yourself to the only reliable source of strength and wisdom.
If you do make a mistake, know that He is bigger than your mistakes. He turns our faults and failures into gardens and glory. He trades wounds for crowns.
Don’t be an anxious father. Be a careful one.
